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ENGLISH LANGUAGE by lombregrise

Writings by Ravenshymn

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Submitted on
January 3, 2013
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2.3 KB


53 (who?)
You are like a long passed season.
As delicate as the footprints of sparrows in freshly fallen snow.
Intricate, yet so easily disturbed when care is not taken.
Somehow, you have managed to persist after all these years.
Residing in the same quiet place you carved into the woods so long ago..
Only a short ride from the sea.

When you cross my mind, you carry with you the scent of that shoreline.
Harsh and thick, yet somehow placating.  
Though the weather was perpetually gray, misty, and cold.
Much like your heart had become..
Just before we painfully, and slowly, parted ways.

I recall with deep longing your fascination with foxes.
With the way they would trot up and down the beach in the early morning,
Their coats most often wet and muddy from crossing into the tide.
I could see the subtle enthrallment in your eyes as they dug for clams.
They would thrust their forepaws deep into the muck, throw it backward..
And at times, to my assuagement, you would smile.

Now, it feels more distant than anything else I harbor within.  
The days in which I think of you grow  farther and farther apart..
And each time you return, you come as a wave, crashing harshly against a seawall.
A seawall that is damaged; weakened by time.
When you crawl back, you take pieces of rock with you.
Pieces you have no intention of returning.

At times the trees, bare and cold against the slate sky of Winter,
Remind me of the veins in your arms.
Spiny and sprawling, both raw and elegant.
Neither blue nor green; trapped beneath pale, translucent skin.
Skin I felt could not have possibly lived through the things it had.
Could not have possibly traveled so many miles.
Weathered so many storms.
Endured so much agony..

Your eyes were endless and earnest.
Vivid despite the decay you embedded yourself within.
A work of art, hung carelessly in an abandoned building..
You were entirely alone, unappreciated, unseen.
Forever hidden inside yourself.
Forever trapped behind walls built from pain.  
Hollow Memory of a Distant Shore - Taylor Saville, 2013.

Thank you for reading .. :rose:
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DecidedlyTattered Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2014
We are captivated by what is dangerous to us - I'd go so far to say that we can end up lost in ourselves, adrift in the ocean of our own thoughts. This was the first time I feel like I've stood on the outside of that moment when I - or anyone - realizes that moment as it washes over us.

The language you use is at once both somber and celebrant - it reaches and out makes the reader feel as if they are walking alongside you and the object of the poem, an unseen ghost or phantom memory. More than that, I cannot say - for it as also personal, and perhaps that and the reflection of that significance is what render it so beautiful.
FaintSketches Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2014
I'm sort of speechless from this comment! :blushes: :rose: I can't really tell you how encouraging it is to read something like this. Especially when you find yourself doubting your ability.. I appreciate it more than you know.
FaintSketches Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013
This was probably one of the best comments I've ever gotten, and I honestly can't thank you enough for it.. No one has ever described my writing like this before. I agree that broken things are often the most beautiful, and it seems like this could branch out into so much more because in my mind it does. This is a tiny expression of a much larger story - one that centers around a person that is indeed very broken, but also crushingly beautiful.
Veyrius Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist
:blush: ehehe! Just saying :D Besides, what I comment is based on what I've been given :meow: Well.. whatever you decide to do, if you ever decide to make branches from this piece of yours, I'll be sure to keep an eye out for them! :love:
cULToFoNE Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013
been a while. would say i'm glad you're still writing so well, but would rather wish you well. heheh. best wishes.
FaintSketches Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
Thank you! I'm glad to see you back around DA. I'm glad you think I'm still writing well! :hug: :D
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013   Writer
:+fav: A marvelous piece, always using "seaworthy" words to make your point plain. Congrats on the DLD "Pick of the Day." Thank you.
FaintSketches Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
That is so kind of you.. :heart: Thank you so much for leaving this comment.
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013   Writer
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